Here is something that I’m good at: ignoring Alex’s deadlines for these Blog Carnival posts. Sorry Alex! But that’s not what this post is about…
When I first saw this topic, I decided that I’d take the self-deprecation route and write about how good I am at worrying, or not tidying up after myself, or finding other things to do instead of finishing my university degree. But when I sat down at…
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
I have a signed copy of this album on vinyl, that I bought really cheaply at a second-hand music store in Camberwell. I have absolutely no idea whether or not the signatures are authentic. [image via maniadb]
All I’ve got here is books and music, I used to have exercise, but I outgrew it. - Eskimo Joe, “Smoke”
Back in 2004, I used the above lyrics as my screen-name on MSN Messenger. I “analysed”…